Emotional health is equally as important as physical and mental health, yet it is the most overlooked and disregarded by mainstream medicine. Fortunately, there's now more understanding and support around emotional health, but culturally we have been conditioned to bypass and push away our difficult feelings and emotions. People are often afraid of judgement or being misunderstood, or they don't feel heard in a way that validates their individual feelings and emotions. Some emotions can feel confusing, especially when you can't acknowledge or label them. This can make it more difficult to express them in a healthy way.
Many people don't realise that repressed (or suppressed) emotions are stored in their body; sometimes creating disharmony and disorder in various aspects of their lives. Repressed emotions can lead to mental, social and physical health issues. Emotions are energy in motion and so they need to move through and out of the body for us to be truly balanced and harmonious. Allowing this to happen in a healthy and natural way is both empowering and freeing. It sounds cliché, but feeling is healing.
Grief and Bereavement
Grief isn't only the result of a bereavement. Grief presents itself throughout our lives whenever there is significant change or loss. We are all in a process of grieving to some degree, as we are all changing, and the world around us is changing. This is an inevitable part of our existence, yet we often struggle to come to terms with it. We may also grieve our past selves as we age, especially being in a society that promotes ‘anti-aging’. People grieve over different things and everyone is different. For example, someone may welcome in retirement and thrive in this stage of their life, where another person may struggle to come to terms with this and grieve for their ‘old’ life and job etc. It can be hard to let go of things sometimes and this is perfectly normal. We are not designed to all be the same and our complexities make up part of our personalities. Having someone to understand your individual ways and needs during a time of grief is very helpful. Recognising your own grief and finding realistic and practical methods to work through it is the way to a more fulfilled and accepting way of life.
Bereavements can be extremely difficult as the grief that comes sometimes never goes away. However, it can ease and most definitely change. It is not a linear journey, and there really are no steps or stages. Again, every single person is different. Some people process these events quite easily and with full acceptance, while others struggle to move forward and imagine a life without the loved one they have lost. Having the stages presented can sometimes be unhelpful for someone processing a bereavement, as they feel pressured to be at a certain 'stage' within a certain time frame, and judged if they are not. If only it were that simple!
Unprocessed Trauma
Unprocessed trauma is very common and can lead to many mental and emotional health issues. When we face our traumas and work through them, we are better able to process them and move forward with ease. Having a safe space to be able to work through unprocessed trauma is extremely important for healing. We need to feel safe to be able to fully acknowledge our deeper feelings and let go. Our nervous system is cleverly designed to help keep us out of danger and protect us, but if it keeps you in a state of chronic stress (a result of unprocessed trauma), this will eventually lead you to burn out, mental health issues, fatigue and dis-ease of the body. Your body is designed to go into acute periods of stress to 'survive' and then find balance again after the event. Unprocessed traumas can keep the body stuck in a state of stress, and certain 'triggers' can intensify this. Most of the time, people don't recognise that they are in a state of chronic stress until they come out of it. It can be very subtle and prolonged and the body becomes accustomed to it. But once the signs are pointed out and self-observation practices follow, it can become more apparent and obvious. PTSD can be a result of unprocessed trauma and this is usually complex. It's not easy and straightforward to heal from PTSD and multiple methods may be needed, as well as ongoing treatment and self-enquiry.
An Ecotherapy Based Practice for Feeling your Feelings
Dedicate some time for this with no rush or pressure. You don’t really want to have to be on the clock, but if you are, set an alarm on your phone rather than keep checking the time.
Go to a safe, natural, outdoor space that you are personally drawn to. If it’s hard to think of one, think back to your child self and ask, where would they like to go? The woods, the park, an open field or the beach perhaps…
When you arrive, really arrive. Take some time to breathe fully and consciously while you let your whole body integrate and become at one with your surroundings. Remembering that you are not separate from nature. You are part of it. As you breathe, feel into the different areas of your physical body, from the tips of your toes all the way up to your head, down your arms and into your hands, all the way to your fingertips. Take your time doing this. Don’t rush any part of this practice and observe where your mind wanders to. It will wander off and that's normal and absolutely OK! There's no pressure here, just simple awareness of the self.
Keep bringing your thoughts back to the here and now; to this practice and sacred time dedicated to you. With no judgements, see if you are holding tension anywhere and give yourself permission to let it go on each exhale. It’s OK if you don’t manage to, its more about the permission and intention to do this. Say the word “release” internally or out loud on each exhale until you feel as relaxed as you can be. Again, take your time. Then finish this sentence, “right now, I feel…” and know it’s OK to feel however you feel. It is just a feeling. Feelings are energy and energy moves. Keep tuning into the feelings and really feel into them. Notice where they sit in your body or how they make you feel in your mind. If you feel ready to express the feelings, do this in a way that feels right in this moment. Hum, sing, skip, clench your fists and punch the air, scream, laugh, cry, talk out loud, whatever you need to do. Releasing this energy will help you to stay in flow with the natural way of life and return to a more neutral and harmonious internal environment.
Now look around at the intricacies and activities within the natural environment you are in. Open all your senses, connect with them and keep breathing consciously and deeply. Notice how in the natural environment things keep moving, not always with ease, but always with intention. The water moves and flows, the trees sway in the breeze, the animals forage and build, the flowers wilt and return, the leaves fall away and the Earth beneath your feet changes with the seasons and the weather. Everchanging, ever-growing and ever-evolving. There is a consistency; a flow. And nothing appears permanent. If you don’t connect with this right away, keep noticing and eventually you will.
Acknowledge now that you are nature. You are life on Earth and you are everchanging. It may seem like the world around you is changing and you are just observing, but you are part of it. Can you embrace this concept and come back to it when you feel stuck, or feelings and emotions are not moving freely? Can you accept that you are nature and you are in a state of constant change? And like the water finds a way to flow freely, you too can flow freely. Why not take some time on your return to journal about what came up for you. Make this a regular practice if it worked for you. And if it didn't, that's OK. May be you could try again another time.
For more inspiring healing practices and insight into a holistic way of life, Rebecca’s book – Coming Home, A Journey of Healing and Awakening Through Poetry and Meditation is available to order on Amazon, or purchase a copy in person at the Anglesey Wellbeing Retreat Centre.
For Inner Healing Therapy or Private Retreat Days at Anglesey Wellbeing, click here
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